Don't Trust Me
by TheCullenRose
Summary: Edward finds himself in a somewhat troubling situation.....


**Author's Note: Hey guys, here's just another crazy ramble from my insane brain. I guess you could kind of consider it to be a sequel to Tootsie Roll, but you don't have to read that to understand this. Enjoy, and please review! (By the way, i own nothing!)**

**EPOV**

I saw fire in the eyes of my precious woman, and I knew this was it. I dropped down to me knees and started to sing a song that I knew would perfectly express the emotion I was trying to convey,

_Baby, when I think about you_

_I think about love_

_Darlin', don't live without you_

_And your love_

_If I had, those golden dreams_

_Of my yesterdays_

_I would wrap you in the heaven_

'_til I'm dyin' on the way_

_Feel like makin'_

_Feel like makin' love_

_Feel like makin' love_

_Feel like makin' love to you_

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen! Are you singing to that gosh dang car again? I'm getting sick of this. You're grounded! And I'm calling Carlisle, so he can recommend a therapist for you to go to! I don't know how Bella can deal with this!" Esme shrieked, and I could hear her stomp across the house to the room with the phone.

"You know what Edward? I really can't deal with this anymore! First serenading your mirror, and then serenading your car with weird creepy songs that don't even make sense because, in case you did not know, you cannot possibly do it with your car. We're done. Over. Completely and totally done with. I am officially leaving you for Jacob." Bella said huffily. I rolled my eyes.

"Don't worry my sweet lady," I whispered to my beautiful Volvo, my precious Esmeralda, "she'll never keep us apart. I'll stay with you until the end of time." I ignored Bella's angry footsteps upstairs and into our bedroom. I didn't even respond when she walked past me with her suitcase filled.

"Aren't you even going to say anything? Defend yourself, beg me to stay?" She demanded. I just shrugged, and started humming the rest of the song.

**BPOV**

I tossed my suitcase into the back of my truck and got in, driving as fast as I could away from the house of insane people. Everyone in that house was a freak, I was the only normal person there.

I was relieved when I pulled into Jacob's driveway, especially when I saw that he was outside working on his car. Shirtless.

**EPOV**

"Good," Alice said, "she's finally gone. We can sing freely once more!"

"I know, I'm so relieved. At first I thought she might go along with it, even enjoy it, but I can see that I was very wrong." Esme smiled at my statement, and we headed downstairs to our amazing basement auditorium.

When we got down there we ran into Carlisle, who was busy setting up the microphones and the karaoke machine.

"Me first, me first!" Emmett shouted, and he jumped up onto the stage. Carlisle just rolled his eyes toward us, and then put in Emmett's favorite karaoke CD.

But just as Emmett began to sing, Mike Newton walked in. "No! This will not be allowed! I must sing my own song to the fair maiden Rosalie! I mustn't be interrupted!" he shouted, and after putting in a different CD he jumped up on stage and grabbed the mic from Emmett, who looked ready to kill him, but was pulled off stage just in time by Alice.

"This should be awesome," she whispered conspiratorially. And then he sang.  
_Black dress with the tights underneath,  
I got the breath of the last cigarette on my teeth,  
And shes an actress (actress),  
But she ain't got no need.  
Shes got money from her parents in a trust fund back east.  
T-t-t-tongues always pressed to your cheeks,  
While my tongue is on the inside of some other girls teeth,  
T-tell your boyfriend if he says hes got beef,  
That I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fucking scared of him._

She wants to touch me (Woah),  
She wants to love me (Woah),  
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),  
Don't trust a ho,  
Never trust a ho,  
Won't trust a ho,  
Won't trust me.

X's on the back of your hands,  
Wash them in the bathroom to drink like the bands.  
And your setlist (setlist),  
You stole off the stage,  
Had red and purple lipstick all over the page.  
B-b-b-bruises cover your arms,  
Shaking in the fingers with the bottle in your palm.  
And the best is (best is),  
No one knows who you are,  
Just another girl alone at the bar.

She wants to touch me (Woah),  
She wants to love me (Woah),  
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),  
Don't trust a ho,  
Never trust a ho,  
Won't trust a ho,  
Won't trust me.

Shush girl shut your lips,  
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.  
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,  
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.  
I said, Shush girl shut your lips,  
Do the Hellen Keller and talk with your hips.

Woah, woah, woah...

She wants to touch me (Woah),  
She wants to love me (Woah),  
She'll never leave me (Woah, woah, oh, oh),  
Don't trust a ho,  
Never trust a ho,  
Won't trust a ho,  
Won't trust me

With his last phrase, Mike Newton was tossed out the door and taken back into the woods, never to be seen or heard from again.


End file.
